Family

It's funny that this issue comes up now, because it's one that is often on my mind.

I have been in a stable, committed relationship with my partner Matt since 2007. We love each other very much, have lived together for 4 years, and share many of the duties and responsibilities that married couples do. Being a homosexual couple, however, we cannot get married in Minnesota, and even if we were to go get married in a state that allows same-sex marriage, Minnesota and the federal government would not recognize our marriage.

I have been reflecting a lot on what "family" means to me and how terms like "family values" are misused by politically motivated people and groups to advance discrimination against gay couples like myself. To me, a marriage is the commitment that two loving adults make to each other, announced publicly. Being married carries a lot of social significance in our society. It is one of those landmarks in the life of most Americans that binds people together and gives a large number of people something to bond over. Some people say that civil unions or domestic partnerships would give the same level of equality to gay couples without carrying the religious baggage of the word "marriage", but this isn't true when you think about the social perception of intimate partnerships that are defined as marriages or not. For example, if Matt and I were at a dinner party with a number of other married, heterosexual couples, we would say that we have a domestic partnership but not a marriage. We don't reap the benefits or social cache that comes with being married and having it recognized by the state and federal government. We don't receive the same kind of respect and recognition that the other couples at the dinner party do. Even if domestic partnerships DID have all the same benefits as being married, we would still be a separate class. To me, this brings to mind the system of segregated education that existed in the United States before Brown vs. Board of Education ruled that "separate but equal" was not actually fair.

Anyway, enough ranting. As you might know, there is an important ballot measure up for the vote this November in Minnesota about whether or not to create a constitutional amendment to ban same-sex marriage in Minnesota. Same-sex marriage is already banned in Minnesota from a legal precedent from the 70s, but conservatives wish to pass this amendment because it will make legalizing marriage equality much more difficult in the future. Minnesota United For All Families has been doing a great job of spreading public awareness about this issue, raising money to fight the passage of this amendment, and appealing to the fairness and goodness of Minnesotans all across the state. Their website (http://mnunited.org/) does a great job in showing everything that a family can be through pictures, testimonies, and more. They even have a part of their website that says "This is what family looks like!" with pictures of different groups, couples, and loved ones from across the state (http://mnunited.org/gallery/). It's inspiring, and it challenges the assumptions and stereotypes people might have about what a family is.

Here's what my family looks like: